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As blogs seem to be the flavour of the moth for getting things off your chest (I guess that's what they were created for in the first place weren't they?) it's now my turn..

Most of you who know me would know I am non-confrontational. I would rather let shit slide off my back than start a pointless fight or argument. The last few days things have happened between others which have made me think about an important relationship in my life, and I realise now it has gotten to the point where I need to speak up .. no more sliding.

Now I hear you ask why a blog, why not confront this person face to face? Well, 3 reasons really. This person doesn't really have much time for me these days, every time I have tried to bring up something upsetting me in the past it has been laughed off as a joke and by blogging I can at least guarantee that if this person reads my blog and realises it's about them, which I'm sure they will, they will hopefully take the time to read through the whole thing and understand all my points. In a face to face argument, people get upset and don't listen to each other so half the issues are never brought up anyway.

I am going to give examples and I'm not going to be accusatory or swear:

Lets start about 6 months ago, anything before that doesn't really matter so much. As you my dear blog readers would know, I went into hospital not once, but twice and was sick for a while. This friend, and today I use the term friend loosely, never actually acknowledged the fact I went into hospital, never asked me what was wrong and never asked if I was ok after being in hospital. Now I admit I didn't exactly go around advertising the fact I was in hospital, but I did blog about it, and this person has told me on many occasions that my blog is often the only way they keep up with my life. Now lets assume they read these blogs when I was sick, would you not worry about your close friend having to go into hospital? Would you not ask if they were OK and how the experience was? I guess not ..

The next thing to happen is not a first, but was definitely the worst. Something happened in this friends life which upset them. Now this person has told me I am 'the voice inside their head' and I believed I was the first person this person would come to with an issue. This time around this person flat out refused to talk to me, not for a day or two, but a whole month. I actually had to force the issue out of them. This hurt me deeply. This person was meant to trust me and here they were playing the silent treatment and not including me in something that was obviously hurting them.

At Christmas time there was an event I was looking forward to, an old club I used to go to every week was having a one off night and all my old friends were going. Friend that this blog is about decided out of the blue to go, not mentioning the fact I had asked them to come already and years before and they had always said no, now a 3rd party asks them to come and they say yes straight away. My friend, after me forcing them to tell me the issue in the previous paragraph, said that if I went to the event I had been looking forward to, I would not be able to talk to my other friend who I haven't seen in months, as it would hurt them too much. They were, without realising it, making me choose between them and my other friend which I flat out refused to do and they cracked the shits so I decided not to go to make this friends life easier. The night came and we made up however I still did not go to the event (even though I really wanted to), and afterwoulds my friend told me it actually wasn't so bad seeing my other friend there.

New years eve, my 'dearest' friend was going out and didn't invite me. A mutual friend invited me. I don't think my friend would have even though to invite me.

Australia day. A friend of mine was organising an event to which I asked my friend to come. They said no as they had to work the following day. The same mutual friend then decided they would like to go to the event, and asked me to come, letting me know that my friend was also coming. Why would they say yes to mutual friend and no to me?

Last weekend, Chinese New Year .. same mutual friend again asked me to come out with them. When this friend asked my friend why she didn't invite me, my friend replied she wanted to keep it in 'the family' (yes they told me what you said) which obviously doesn't include me anymore.

The last and final straw:

You, and now I am directing my blog straight at you, you have told now not one, but two people that you know for a fact you are a bad friend to me and yet you do nothing, not one thing, to try and make this better.

I believe actions speak louder than words, and I now realise your actions over the past year speak loud and clear. I don't mean anything more to you than the next random acquaintance you may have. I'm the last though, that's if you even remember me at all. I live too far for you to bother driving to, although Cairnlea seems to be not too far for you these days.

Today I tell you I'm sick of making all the effort. I'm sick of you barely asking me how I am before blabbing on about yourself. I'm sick of being forgotten and put aside till the next time you run out of friends. Today I decide that you really are not my best friend as I have foolishly believed for so long. Please don't tell me you're sorry if you're not. I don't want a half assed effort from you, to be honest I don't have the time or patience for you. If you don't make a conscious effort to change things, I can assure you I won't answer next time you call me in tears, I won't drop everything to come over when you need me .. I won't be your friend.

I read somewhere you should expect your friends to be good to you 70% of the time, that way you avoid disappointment. From you lately I'm lucky if I get 1% ..