I miss you

I dunno why but something just made me think of my dad .. Its been almost 6 years since he died but I still remember his voice like I only just heard it a moment ago .. I just want a hug from him again =[

It's funny how we think our parents are gonna be around forever .. My mum seems invincible hehe .. But I spose as we grow older and they reach their golden years, you start to realize that its only a matter of time .. But when your young u expect them to always be there no matter what

my dad was there one day, gone the next .. For those who don't know, he took his own life .. I was the last person to talk to him alive .. I never knew anything was wrong and the last words I said to him were 'have fun' .. I miss his sarcastic humor, our play fights, drinking alcy at his house, his telephone voice hehe .. I feel bad I didn't go to visit more often when he n mum broke up .. I wish I had of got to live with him like I was planning to when yr12 was over

when I think about him I cry, even though I try so hard not to .. I cant help it .. There's an empty place inside me and it hurts to open it up .. I never got to say goodbye, he just disappeared .. I see men who look similar to him around and I always have to look twice, just to make sure .. And if it hurt me like this, how much does it hurt my mum? He was her first serious bf, and there's been no one since .. Yet she never shows a weakness ..

things suck sometimes .. Now I got tears running down my face into my cleavage hehe