Hurting

I think I really attract the wrong type of person .. 2 people I stupidly thought could or would never want to hurt me have done so recently .. Maybe I should just expect everyone to do so, but how could I handle the closest people to me making me cry? I don even want to think about it ..

these 2 people I have known for years, some of my longest friends and people I thought I could trust .. They don't know each other, and the things they have done are nothing alike .. However both have cut deep

one, I have bitched about before in my other blog . And have now decided he is one of those people you don't really want to bother with .. He pretty much uses me at his convenience and has proved I only mean something too him when he wants something from me

the other, I stupidly gave way too many second chances to .. Spent too many nights in tears over, gave too much and got nothing in return .. I cut the friendship off recently, and he let it go without fighting like he didn't give a shit whether I want to talk to him or not

maybe I need to take a good look at the people I associate with, maybe its time to really cut off the ones who are just going to cause heartache and problems later down the track .. But how can you relay know? The two I have mentioned today were some of the last people I would have expected this from .. And the ones I would have turned out to be the truest of friends .. Maybe I just need to stick to the people I know, but then wat happens if they turn out to be the wrong people and I end up with no one? .. Relationships are just too hard -.-

on another note, u know when u wake up too early to get up and you lie there kind of half asleep and in la la dream land .. I had some weird sex dream about a guy at work, and then when I was walking from the carpark to work this morning I ran into that particular person and I was blushing and he probably thinks I'm a dork now hahaha